1. Flush mid pee and race the toilet.
2. Instead of using twist-ties to close bread, just spin the open end of the bag and tuck it underneath.
3. When I’m in the shower, I like to cup the water to my chest then watch it splash to the floor.
4. Entering Beast Mode running up stairs while alone.
5. Fantasized about their female friends. Yes…all of them.
6. Thought about freezing time…. and then doing naughty things to people.
7. Every man has woken up with morning wood and had to do the leaning tower of pizza to hit the toilet.
8. Checked online to see if their length is adequate.
9. All men at one point in their lives have given The Nod TM to another man for one reason or another. They have also given it to a woman, only to receive a look of confusion.
Additionally, they were never taught The NodTM. It simply exists within them naturally.
10. Blow nose into hands in the shower 11. Waft the bed covers to unsheathe a fart. 12. While peeing tried to cover entire surface of water with pee bubbles.
13. When I write a comment on a girls facebook, i re-read it a million times after sending it to make sure it doesn’t sound dumb.
…and then it does.
14. Imagine how you would save your work place, school or whatever from terrorists.
15. Looked at their poop when they finished. I mean sometimes you just need to enjoy the masterpiece you just created.
16. Watch romantic comedies alone. No one else can be present. No one can know.
17. Take off my underwear and then kick it up into my hand and feel like a goddamn ninja master.
18. Deleted their search history.
19. Aim your pee at the edge of the toilet water or higher to avoid people knowing your pissing
20. Tried to see how far away you can get whilst taking a pee and keeping it in the bowl.